My False Abundance Mentality
In my life-to-date, I’ve lived under the illusion of owning an abundance mentality. The future present itself to me with a myriad of possibilities, endless in fact. I used to think my problem was making a decision and committing to a particular direction in life. When life didn’t move along as I expected or desired I’d judge myself as distracted by too many options. What I thought I needed was focus, discipline and determination, ugh.
I say the illusion of an abundance mentality because I’ve learned that my Ego has been hiding a deeper, darker secrete from me. It’s been protecting me from acknowledging that I have a limited-option mentality, let me explain.
The realization appeared over time. I noticed a pattern in my work and personal relationships where I would actively listed to someone share an idea or perspective. Rather than approaching the conversation with an open heart and open mind, I would listen for a weakness or “gotcha” moment in their sharing. You see, I thought that I could see a perspective from 360 degrees. I believed that I could consider ALL the angles of the perspective and correctly identify the select few perspectives that merited further discussion. Oh my, if that doesn’t bad as I write that out.
It was true. It was limiting. It was exhausting.
I confused my approach to life as abundant because I would see multiple options from MY perspective, but I was never opening myself up to the possibility that perspectives conflicted with my own, might actually be better. Due to this limited belief system entrenched in my, I would only move forward with other people’s ideas if we both agreed on seeing similar paths forward.
Look at it this way, in a 360 degree view I would see maybe 12 degrees or points in my perspective which seemed like options. If you matched on any of those 12 degrees, then I felt validated and in-sync with you. There was nearly zero possibility that the other 348 degrees had any chance of possibility. My attitude to these views was one of stonewalling, debate and logical argument. Again, really exhausting.
It’s only been a few weeks but my perspective has indeed changed. Abundance comes from the heart, not the mind. Sitting in conversations, truly present and listening not for outcome but for resonance and curiosity, now that feels abundant.
The Ego and the mind take a backseat to the heart. The former are tools to execute the desires of the heart. For far too long I allowed the mind to restrict what enters the heart, starving it of possibility. When possibility flows it radiates with energy and life isn’t so hard.